Chapter 30

{ October 8, 2008 @ 12:10 pm } · { Fellowship }
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30

 

Laying on his bed and looking at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts, Tuomas was rudely interrupted by a pounding on the door of the room next to his; Anette’s room.  Over and over, someone pounding – not just knocking, Tuomas could tell – on her door, shouting, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” over and over again. Annoyed and curious, Tuomas finally got up to investigate , and as he got closer to his door, he was able to identify the voice as Jukka’s. Now alarmed, Tuomas pulled open his door and stuck his head out into the hallway.

“What’s going on, Jukka?”

Jukka jumped in surprise, and sagged with relief when he saw that it was Tuomas.

“I said something to Anette that I shouldn’t have. She won’t open the door for me.” He looked desperate, but Tuomas couldn’t help feeling mildly amused. Anette was being quite childish.

“Here, let me try,” he said sagely, stepping out into the hall and in front of Anette’s door. He knocked on it twice. “Anette, open up. It’s Tuomas.”

No response.

Tuomas frowned and knocked on the door again, a bit harder. “Please open the door, Anette. I have to talk to you.”

Still no answer. Tuomas turned to Jukka. “You’re sure she’s in her room?” he asked, puzzled. The drummer nodded, looking worried, and knocked on the door again.

“Please, Anette. I’m so sorry about what I said. I wasn’t thinking. Open the door.”

There wasn’t a single sound of life on the other side of the door and Tuomas was getting worried. He pounded on the door with his palm.

“Open the door, Anette. This isn’t funny. Jukka’s apologized, what more do you want? Let us in.”

He paused and the two of them stood absolutely still, listening for any sound on the other side. Nothing. Without thinking, Tuomas began pounding on the door recklessly. Why wasn’t she answering? Was she okay? What had Jukka said? Why wouldn’t she open the door?! He knew he had to be annoying everyone else on the floor, and sure enough, a few minutes later the hotel manager approached them.

“Is there a problem here?” the manager, a short, balding man in his late 40s, asked.

“Yes, actually, there is. I’m worried something may have happened to my friend. She won’t answer the door.”

The manager looked at him in disbelief, and, obviously annoyed to be bothered with such lunacy, rapped on the door with his knuckles.

“This is hotel management. Please open the door.”

Nobody answered him.

“Is everything alright in there?” he asked after a pause. Getting no response to this either, he knocked again. Still no reply, so he called through the door, “I’m coming into the room.” From his pocket, he pulled out a keycard and swiped it through, opening the door to reveal an apparently empty room, though the light was on.

 

The three men walked cautiously into the room, but saw no sign of Anette ever having returned. The manager turned on Tuomas.

“Was this some kind of joke? Well, nicely done, you had me fooled!” The short man’s face was livid, blotchy red with anger as he fumed. Before he had a chance to continue, Jukka called out to them from the bathroom.

“Tuomas! Come quick!”

Worried at the tone of Jukka’s voice, the panic, Tuomas rushed to bathroom  to see what had Jukka so shocked, the manager following. There, on the floor, Anette lay unconscious. Tuomas stood stock still, shocked beyond thinking, as Jukka kneeled down beside her and checked her pulse and the manager hurried back into the other room to call some paramedics.

“She’s just unconscious,” Jukka breathed, lifting her head into his lap, his face screwed up in guilt. Tuomas, his shock wearing off, began to look around, to see if he could find the cause of her unconsciousness. It was right in front of him; a half-empty bottle of anti-depressants on the counter. She’d done this to herself…on purpose? Tuomas hoped with all his soul that she hadn’t done this on purpose, but the evidence was irrefutable. She had to have been aware what would happen if she overdosed. He closed his eyes, a leaden ball of conflicting emotions forming in the pit of his stomach. Was Anette too far gone to save?

 

“What happened, do you know?” The manager’s voice pulled Tuomas from his sadness and he nodded even though his back was to the man.

“Yes. She overdosed.” He could hear the pain in his voice and tried to choke it back. The was a thick silence at these words, Jukka likely shocked to hear it and the manager unsure what he should say.

“Well, the paramedics are on their way. The hospital is a good distance away, but it shouldn’t take them very long,” said the manager, finally. Tuomas nodded again and felt a heaviness settle over him, a pain take hold of his heart. This would be the second time Anette was being driven away in an ambulance, the third time she’d be in the hospital. He sent up a silent prayer that this would be the last time, and vowed to make sure it was.

Chapter 29

{ October 4, 2008 @ 12:09 am } · { Fellowship }
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29

 

Two weeks had passed since the band’s performance in Gothenburg. Anette had nearly begged Ewo to cancel the planned show in Joensuu, and Ewo explained later to the rest of the band that she had told him that she didn’t feel safe going back to Finland. Unable to reason with her, Ewo had the show cancelled, and, after double-checking with the rest of the band, all the other shows in the country already booked for the upcoming tour. Ewo also informed them that shows in Austria and France had been pulled from the schedule, leaving longer breaks and less traveling between the shows they would still be playing in Sweden, Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands. Jukka was glad that Ewo had everything under control, though he knew that countless fans would be angered and upset at all the cancellations. He hoped that they would be understanding, but, imagining himself in their shoes, he knew that it would be a hard thing to do.

 

They were gathered outside the buses and the venue where they were to be performing tonight in Oslo, Norway, a fairly comfortable silence permeating the air around the members of the band. Emppu, beer in one hand, was texting someone with his other, as Tuomas and Marco dragged thoughtfully on their cigarettes. Jukka was shifting his weight from foot to foot, immersed in his thoughts, and Anette was staring vacantly at the pavement, just as immersed in her thoughts. Nobody spoke, but there was no need to when there was nothing to be said. Long moments passed, and finally Tuomas dropped his cigarette butt to the ground, crushing it with the toe of his shoe, and the spell was broken.

“Guess we should get ready for soundcheck, eh?” Marco said, putting out his own cigarette butt. Emppu nodded in response, pocketing his cell phone as Marco headed into the venue. He touched Anette’s back as he passed and she smiled dazedly at him, though he kept on walking, following Marco inside. A small smile flashed briefly across Tuomas’ features as he looked at Anette, hopeful, but at her non-response, he turned to go inside as well.

“Come on,” said Jukka. “Don’t stand around out here, or I can almost guarantee that some fan or another will find you.” She smiled, though it never reached her eyes, and nodded.

“Yes, I don’t think I can deal with that today.”

Jukka frowned in concern. “Is something bothering you, Anette?” he asked, knowing even as the words left his mouth that there was probably always something bothering her lately. That she was able to seem so calm in the face of everything that had happened to her simply astounded him.

“It’s nothing, really. It’s just –” she didn’t meet his eyes, “It’s just that my husband and I are getting a divorce.” Jukka nodded and his frown deepened. All the guys were aware that the two had been separated for months now, and had assumed it was only a matter of time before the divorce was official. Why would that be bothering Anette now? “Well, he’s actually moving out now. He never bothered finding an apartment, he thought I’d never go through with it. But he moved all his stuff out.” Jukka still didn’t really understand why Anette was upset. She had paused, her eyes scanning Jukka’s face, looking to see his reaction. He forced his frown away, trying to keep his features impassive because he knew she wasn’t finished yet. She didn’t continue, so Jukka prompted her.

“But that’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?”

She shook her head no.

“He wants full custody of Seth – and I know he’s going to get it.” She looked at the ground, and Jukka, a wave of sympathy washing over him, wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, surprised at how delicate she seemed. She relaxed and took a deep breath as though to calm herself as Jukka stepped away from her, though he kept a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Anette. I really am. It won’t be as though you’ll see Seth any less than you do normally with the touring now. I’m sure you’ll still get to see him every day that you’re home.” Jukka was trying to cheer her up, but he wasn’t sure that he was succeeding.

“I know. It’s not the same though. It’s…not the same.”

Jukka nodded his understanding; imagining how it would feel if he and Satu weren’t together and he didn’t have full custody of Luna and Niki. He knew it had to be a completely different level of pain for Anette, because she was a mother. Unsure what to say, he gestured that they should go inside, and Anette silently led the way.

 

The band’s overall performance that night was disappointing, the atmosphere tense between the members, despite the fact that being on-stage always helped them relax and cheer up. None of them were on their top game, none of them were their usual selves, weighed down with all the problems occurring of late. It was obvious that the audience was aware that something was wrong, but it was equally obvious that they were still enjoying themselves, which was a relief. Though as they left the stage following their final bow, there was silence and stony faces, even from Emppu.  As they were packing up the stuff they had backstage, Jukka noticed Tuomas and Anette immersed in a deep conversation just out of earshot. He observed for a while the argument, Tuomas looking stern at first, though his features transformed into compassion and sympathy in a matter of minutes. Jukka cocked his head to one side, curious as to what they were talking about and deciding to ask Tuomas after. He didn’t have to wait long for that opportunity, for just a few minutes after he’d turned his attention back to collecting his stuff into his bag, Tuomas came up beside him and began packing his own bag. He let the silence linger for a moment before asking the question as he zipped his bag shut.

“What were you two talking about?”

Tuomas paused and ran a hand over his face. “I was trying to get her to talk to the police…again.”

“Why?”

“She has to tell them, it’s the only way to get this guy back. But she refuses to.”

“Why didn’t she go to the police right away, though?”

“She was scared – she still is.” Tuomas wasn’t looking at Jukka, but Jukka could still see that the maestro was stressed, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Jukka knew how frustrated he had to be, not necessarily with Anette, but himself for not being able to stick to his guns and convince her to talk to the proper authorities.

“What in the world could she be afraid of? If she told the police what he looked like and they caught him, then she wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore!”

“It’s not that simple, Jukka,” Tuomas said, finally meeting the drummer’s eyes. “I think she’s always going to be afraid. Locking him up isn’t going to erase what he did to her.” Tuomas’ expression grew pained as he looked away again. He couldn’t bear seeing Anette like this. “It would help, though, ease her mind. It would…make sure he never did it again. I don’t know what she’s afraid of…I wish…I just don’t know. I’ve been trying  for a while now, asking her to go talk to the police. She won’t. She’s scared.”

Jukka sighed. No one was confronting her, no one was being straight with her. They were too afraid to hurt her feelings, or something. Jukka didn’t care at that moment, he was fed up. Anette had to go to the police, she had to see that her fears were irrational and that it was almost a duty to go to the police and tell them what happened, to catch the bastard who hurt her.

 

Seething with frustration, weighed down with disappointment from the show, Jukka stalked the hotel, up and down hallways and through the lobby, trying to get some of his anger out. Focused on his frustration, when Jukka saw Anette walking to the ice machine, he marched straight up to her.

“Tell them. Tell the cops,” he said as she looked up in surprise. The confusion passed from her face as she realized what he was talking about.

“I – I can’t, Jukka I –”

“You have to. Everyone is hurting, can’t you see that? Everyone. You’re not that special and things like this happen ever day. The only way to stop him from hurting any other women is to talk to the police, let them handle this, they can take care of it.” His voice was raised, coloured with anger. She said nothing, though her eyes were filled with hurt and tears. She shook her head and pushed past him, rushing back down the hall to her room. Jukka stood still for a moment as the last of his frustration dissipated and, with horror, it dawned on him what he had just said, and he took off after her towards her room. What had he done?

Chapter 28

{ September 23, 2008 @ 10:16 pm } · { Fellowship }
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28

 

The phone rang, but Tarja didn’t pick it up. She didn’t want to talk to Marcelo. The two had barely spoken this past while, and Marcelo had only been home once since the renovations were finished. He kept making up excuses to be away, but Tarja knew that he was avoiding her, and, if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t sad about it. There was a barrier between them now that had never been there before, and Marcelo was running away from it. He would call frequently, act as though he was sorry for what he’d done, ask for forgiveness that Tarja never gave. She didn’t believe he felt remorse about telling the newspapers about Anette, because this was all a game to him. Maybe it never clicked in, or maybe he just didn’t care, that he was toying with real people. Nightwish had never been her enemy, not even after they fired her. She hadn’t spoken to them for years afterwards, but she had never hated them, and she never wanted to see them hurt, but they were now. Marcelo’s betrayal had made Tarja question his motives all through the time when he’d been with her while she was in Nightwish, until she decided that it was useless dwelling on the past.

 

Tarja had no way of knowing whether or not Emppu  had told the rest of the band that she hadn’t told the newspapers, but that Marcelo had. She hadn’t talked to any of them since that meeting with him, because she knew it was better she gave them their space. She should probably never have contacted Tuomas to begin with. How had she honestly thought things would end well? These people weren’t her friends anymore, but just people she knew who had betrayed her in her past. It was a futile endeavor on her part, trying to find forgiveness for whatever it was she had done that had gotten her fired. They had not made an attempt to apologize to her, so why did she bother? No, it was best if she just forgot about them and went about her life. Of course, that was easier said than done. In the past weeks, she had been itching to call or text Anette or Emppu. It took all her willpower, sometimes, not to do so. Sometimes her thoughts would drift back to them and she’d wonder what they were doing, if they were playing a show or at home with their families and friends. She would wonder if Emppu had told them the truth and if Tuomas had forgiven her. Every time such thoughts floated up, she would quell them immediately, not willing to go down that path again.

 

The days stretched in her empty house. Sometimes she would call friends over so she would have people to talk to, and other times she would work on new material. She couldn’t seem to find it in herself to care that Marcelo wasn’t around, but she chastised herself for that. She told herself that she should care, because he was her husband. It took a few more days of silence for her to pick up the phone and call him. Avoiding the problem would never fix it, and all she wished was the she and Marcelo could get along again like they used to, though she feared that would never be possible. After three rings, she worried that he wouldn’t pick up his cell, but right as she was about to hang up, he did.

“Hello?”

Tarja hesitated before replying. “Hello, Marcelo. It’s Tarja.”

“Oh.”

The emotion left his voice, and it hurt her.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I just wanted to talk to you…to see when you were coming home.”

There was silence on the other end for a moment.

“I have business meetings, I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

Tarja’s heart sank, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why she suddenly cared that he wasn’t home.

“Don’t you have any idea when you’ll be back?” she questioned, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice.

“I don’t know.”

There was a long, awkward silence as Tarja fought within herself, trying to decide what she should say.

“Marcelo, I’m sorry.” She hated herself for the pleading in her voice. What was she even apologizing for? Why did she feel like she truly had something to be sorry for?

“Sorry for what?” His voice was still emotionless.

“I’m sorry…about what happened. I overreacted. I’m sorry. Please come home.” She was almost begging now.

He didn’t say anything for a little while.

“Please, Marcelo. I’m sorry. Please come back home.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll be home as soon as I can. Early next week. Thanks for calling.”

He hung up before she had a chance to say good-bye. She felt pleased that he was coming home at the same time that she was disgusted with herself. Why had she acted that way? Why had she apologized? She didn’t understand it, but decided to look past it, hoping that this whole thing was resolved and things could go back to the way they were before.

And we’re back! Chapter 27

{ September 5, 2008 @ 10:44 pm } · { Fellowship }
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27

 

Backstage before their Gothenburg gig, Marco was alone, playing his DS and reveling in the solitude.  He heard someone shuffling into the room, but didn’t bother looking up; he was at a crucial point in the game, after all. It required serious concentration and any missteps now would ruin everything he’d achieved in the past days.   Absorbed in his game, he didn’t notice that Jukka had sat down next to him until the drummer laughed.

“No, you’re going about it all wrong, you’re never going to win like that.”

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, there was a sad little tune from the game and the words “Game Over” flashing in the screen.

“Look what you made me do!” Marco grumbled, flipping the Nintendo gaming system shut.  “Now I have to start all over again.”

Jukka patted him on the shoulder. “There, there. It’ll keep you busy. How about a beer?” He held one out to the grumpy bassist.

“Fine.” Marco pretended to be grudgingly taking the beer from Jukka’s hand, but he would never begrudge a beer, and Jukka knew it.

“There, all better now?” Jukka asked with a grin, taking a swig from his bottle.

“Oh, okay. I’ll forgive you.” Laughing a little, Marco took a sip of beer, glancing at the door to see Anette walking in, looking tense. “You okay?” he asked her, concerned.

“Fine, fine. I’m fine,” she replied, not meeting his eyes. “Just worried. I think I’m getting another cold.” She smiled weakly and gave a little laugh, but Marco wasn’t going to be fooled. With all the time they’d spent together, they all knew each other well enough to see through any façades, and Marco knew that Anette knew that. That she was pretending told him that something was troubling her more deeply than usual, and he wasn’t going to give up.

After the show, I’ll try to talk to her, he thought, deciding it would be best not to have an argument or intense discussion right before a show.

 

All five of them stood just backstage as the intro music played, the tingling excitement that always permeated the air before they went on-stage thick around them tonight. Anette’s enthusiasm was not as bright as usual, but at least it was there. There was nervous fidgeting and smiles all ‘round as they prepared themselves mentally. They always wanted to put on the best show they possibly could, never wanting to disappoint. The screaming of the fans on the floor grew louder as the “Nightwish!” chants began. They let them go on for a bit longer, and then Jukka stepped onto the stage and the screaming grew louder. Marco observed him adjusting his drums as he waited for the song to start. Tuomas went on-stage next, waving to the crowd as he walked across the stage to his keyboards. Emppu snuck onto stage and the song was started! Marco entered the stage with a silent prayer that all would go well, and it did. The way Anette so obviously relaxed as she performed was amazing, and it was so clear to him that she had been the perfect choice. He had never doubted it once since they hired her, but sometimes it was so much more obvious than others. Like tonight, and how she so obviously felt what she was singing and enjoyed being there on-stage regardless of conditions backstage or the emotional rollercoaster that had been her life these past months.

 

Leaving the stage for the last time, after the encore, all the band members seemed  to glow with happiness. The show had gone really well and no one had any complaints. Broad smiles were plastered across all their faces as they talked about it’ the crowd, the songs, the performance. It was as though a very heavy weight had been lifted from the air around them, at least for the time being, and they were all basking in their joie de vivre. The feeling wore off slightly as they tried to leave the venue an hour or so later and were bombarded by fans. Emppu, surprisingly, took the time to sign a few autographs before making a beeline to the bus, Anette not far behind. Marco, Jukka and Tuomas stayed to chat with the fans, Marco somewhat tired but always willing to take the time for the people who were supporting the band.

“Do you enjoy Sweden?” a young man asked in broken English as Marco signed his ticket stub. Grinning widely, Marco replied, “Of course! It’s a beautiful country and there’s a lot of great people here!” Hearing his words, the young man’s face completely lit up. They shook hands and the fan left as Marco turned to another person in the throng.

 

The crowd dissipated and the three band members who had been hanging out with them headed to the bus, which would bring them to the airport and on to their homes. As they stepped on, Marco saw that Anette and Emppu were watching TV in silence.

“They’re gone?”

“Yep,” said Marco, flopping into a chair. “Great show tonight, eh?”

“Definitely. You sang better than ever, Anette!” Tuomas exclaimed, reaching into the mini-fridge to get some beers. He tossed one to each of the guys and held one out as an offering to Anette, who declined.

“No thanks, I have to drive home,” she said, and Tuomas shrugged and put it back in the fridge, taking a seat for himself. “I guess I should get going, then,” Anette said into the comfortable silence that had settled over them. “It’s about a two hour drive, and I’m not a fan of driving at night.” She reached into the mini-fridge and grabbed herself a Red Bull. “Always go prepared,” she grinned, stepping out of the bus as they all said good-bye to her back, Marco realizing that he hadn’t asked her what was bothering her before the gig.

 
A/N: Apologies for the major shortness of the chapter. It’ll take a bit to get back into the swing of things, methinks.

Chapter 26

{ July 23, 2008 @ 4:18 pm } · { Fellowship }
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26

Disembarking from the plane, weary from travel, even though it wasn’t that far, all Anette could think was how unbelievably happy she was to be home. It was as though she had kept herself wound tight in Finland, worried and unsafe, and now that she was in Sweden, she felt so much more relaxed, safe, and the tugging in her mind that had made her constantly look over her shoulder in Finland was gone. She strode down the hall with the other passengers who had been on the same flight, reveling in the fact that at the moment, she blended into the crowd. She turned the corner to baggage claim, searching for the familiar faces of her family, and was taken mildly by surprise when she felt small arms wrapping around her middle. Smiling and feeling a part of her that had been empty while she was gone fill up with love for her son, she wrapped her arms around him in return.
“Seth, you gotta let me get my bags!” she said with a laugh, not really wanting him to let go. He released her and started talking a mile a minute.
“Did you have a good trip? What happened? What did you see? Where did you go? How’s Emppu?”
She laughed again and steered him over towards the conveyor belts. “I’ll tell you all about it when we get home, okay?” she promised him. “Where’s your dad?” Seth stood on his tiptoes, scanning the crowd, and then pointed out his father triumphantly. Anette made her way over to him, Seth trailing behind, the warmth inside her diminishing. Fredrik wasn’t watching as she approached, keeping his eyes on the opening from which her bags would emerge. She stood next to him, but neither said anything for a long time, until finally Fredrik spoke.
“So how was your trip?” He didn’t sound like he really wanted to know, or that he cared. He didn’t even look at her when he asked, his voice flat.
“Fine.” Her reply was curt, despite the hurt she felt at Fredrik’s coldness. They didn’t speak again until they got to the car, Anette instead focusing on her son, and Fredrik not focusing on anything.

 

“I found an apartment.”

It had come out of the blue. The air between Anette and Fredrik was so tense it could be cut with a knife. Those four words twisted Anette’s heart. It’s actually happening, she thought.

“Where?” she asked.

“Helsingborg.” He kept his eyes straight ahead, focused on the road, and Anette watched his profile. He was distant, cold, something Anette had rarely seen with him. She looked away.

“I see.” She didn’t know what she should say.

“Most of my stuff is already there, there’s only a few boxes left.” He glanced at her, the first time he’d looked at her since she’d arrived. It was like her brain just shut down. She couldn’t speak to him, she could barely think straight. Tears filled her eyes and she leaned her head on the window, hoping Fredrik wouldn’t notice. He braked the car and she saw that they were at her house. Blinking back those tears, she turned to Fredrik and smiled, hoping it looked sincere, but knowing that it didn’t.

“This is what’s best, remember?” he said. She didn’t say anything, just opened her door and got out, moving to the back of the car as Fredrik popped the trunk and obtaining her suitcase. Seth went around back to help her, and she gave him her purse to carry and headed back to the passenger side door.

“So when will you pick up the rest of your stuff?” she asked through the window Fredrik had rolled down.

“I’ll be here sometime tomorrow. And I’ve asked for full custody of Seth.” Anette felt like she’d just been kicked, but she knew that it would have to be that way with her touring with Nightwish all the time. She fought the sadness clawing at her throat, not willing to let herself cry in front of Fredrik, or Seth, and nodded her head, turning away and heading to the door of her home as Fredrik drove off. Seth came up to her, looking worried.

“What’s wrong, mom?”

She shook her head, reminding herself that she had to be strong in front of her son, and forced a smile onto her face.

“Nothing, Seth. How about some supper?”

Not looking entirely convinced, Seth agreed and went back to the door, his mother following behind, struggling to suppress her sorrow.

 

The food was cooking, Seth was watching TV, and Anette was sitting at the table, her mind buzzing. She reached for the cordless phone and typed in a number, detached, not even aware of whose number she punched in until he picked up.

“Moikka,” he said.

“Tuomas?”

“Oh, Anette! Hey!” He seemed surprised to hear from her. She was surprised she called him, too.

“Hey. How are you?”

“Pretty good. Just got home a little while ago. How about you?”

“Oh, I just got home too. Not so good though.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” She could hear the concern in his voice. She didn’t know how she should explain.

“I don’t know, it’s Fredrik, and he got an apartment.” She mentally kicked herself for the weakness in her voice.

“Oh, Anette. I’m sorry.”

Anette leaned on the table, pinching the bridge of her nose. “So am I. He wants full custody of Seth, too. I guess it’s only right, I don’t know what I thought would happen.”

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the line, and Anette realized how awkward this must be for Tuomas. Why did she call him in the first place?

“Are you going to be okay?” Tuomas asked her before she could apologize, his voice coloured  with genuine caring.

“I…I don’t know.” She wanted to say she would be fine, but she couldn’t. An overpowering feeling of helplessness came over her. Everything was going wrong at once, and none of it was in her control. Tuomas didn’t say anything for a moment, and Anette wondered what he was thinking.

“Well, if it would help…I could stay with you for a few days,” he said slowly, at last. She could hear typing on a keyboard at his end and smiled to herself, even as she felt she could burst with gratitude.

“Oh, Tuomas, would you?”

“Of course! I can book a flight that will leave in a few hours. Does that work?”

“Yes, yes of course!” She was excited, and unbelievably happy. She had good friends, of course she did, but she’d never had one who would go to such lengths to cheer her up.

“Great! E-mail me directions to your house from the airport and I’ll see you in a few hours!”

Anette agreed and they said good-bye, and then she made her way to the computer, bringing up her e-mail and Mapquest. In her inbox was a message from Ewo with details for their show in Gothenburg in a couple weeks and an e-mail from Emppu, checking to make sure that she’d made it home alright. She printed off Ewo’s e-mail so that she wouldn’t forget, and then replied to Emppu’s, telling him that Tuomas was coming over, before clicking onto Mapquest and sending Tuomas the directions to her house.

 

Now that it was night and Seth was in bed, Anette could have some quiet time. She was laying down on the couch, reading by the light of a single lamp, when there came a soft knock at the door. Hurrying over to answer it, Anette motioned Tuomas in, telling him to be quiet.
“Seth’s already in bed, and he’s a pretty light sleeper.”
“Oh, right. I’ll keep that in mind,” said Tuomas with a smile.
Anette was feeling better now that some time had passed and she had cooled down a bit, but she was still unbelievably happy to see the face of the maestro.
“So I’ll just show you to your room, then? I mean, just to drop your stuff off.” She gestured to the small bag he had in one hand. He nodded and she led the way up the stairs, pointing out which room was which.
“This is the bathroom,” she said, pointing to the first door on the right.
“I gathered,” grinned Tuomas. Anette smiled.
“Well, not everyone does. So across from it is Seth’s room. Then there’s your room, beside Seth’s, and mine’s just across the hall.”
“Great!” Tuomas went to the guest room and Anette waited in the hallway, and when he returned, he was empty-handed, save for a movie he was carrying. “I thought we could watch this.” He held it up and Anette saw that it was Hidalgo. She laughed a little bit.
“You remembered my thing for horses, eh? I’ve already seen it, but I wouldn’t mind seeing it again.”
“Well, if there’s something you’d rather watch, we can watch that instead.” He looked a bit hurt.
“Have you ever seen The Brave One?” Anette asked.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Well, that’s a movie I’d like to watch again. I’ll tell you what, we watch Hidalgo first and then The Brave One. Sound good?”
“Sure!” Tuomas perked up and headed down the stairs ahead of Anette, who stopped to check and make sure that Seth was alright before heading downstairs.

 

 Anette awoke with a start the next morning only to realize that she’d slept in.
“Oh great,” she mumbled, throwing off the covers and headed to the on-suite bathroom to have a quick shower, turning the water until it was almost unbearably hot, which was exactly how she liked it. Removing her pajamas and stepping into the water, she reveled in the burning sensation the water traced across her skin as it hit her. When she’d adjusted to the temperature, she quickly washed her hair, face and body and stepped out, not wanting to keep Seth or Tuomas waiting for breakfast. She speedily blow-dried her hair and then got dressed, choosing today to wear a plain black t-shirt and jeans. Simple worked. She went down the stairs quietly to find Tuomas and Seth sitting in the living room, Seth explaining one of his toy cars and Tuomas listening attentively. She couldn’t suppress her smile, because it was just such a cute sight to see. Tuomas noticed her standing in the stairs watching them and looked at her, looking happier than she’d ever seen him, the kid at his heart shining in his eyes. She grinned back at him and stepped off the stairs.
“Okay, boys, what do you want for breakfast?”
Seth turned around and beamed at her. “I want pancakes!” he said, and Anette laughed.
“Well, we should ask our guest what he wants, right Seth?” Seth seemed to pout a bit.
“Alright,” he said, grudgingly. “What do you want for breakfast, Tuomas?”
“Pancakes sounds good to me too.” He winked at Seth, smile growing at the gratitude in Seth’s face, and stood, walking over to Anette. “I’ll help you out in the kitchen.”

 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. The three of them headed out and Anette and Seth showed Tuomas around town, and other than a few fans stopping them to ask for autographs (surely Seth’s proclaiming loudly that they were Nightwish didn’t help), not much happened. It was evening when Fredrik decided to come by and pick up the last of his things, and seeing Tuomas sitting on the couch watching TV with Seth didn’t sit well with him. He grabbed Anette by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen.
“What the fuck is this?” he demanded, gesturing in the direction of the living room.
“Nothing. Tuomas came over for a few days. He’s leaving soon.” She didn’t want Fredrik to be angry, but she knew exactly what he thought was happening. He snorted in disbelief.
“Yeah, you expect me to believe that. We’re not even fully divorced yet and you’re already fucking your band mates.”
“Why should it matter to you? You’re the one who cheated on me while we were still married,” she spat, anger flooding her mind. Fredrik looked like he’d just been slapped.
“I told you, it was once…”
Anette cut him off before he could finish his overused excuse. “How am I meant to know what you do while I’m gone?  Did you fuck her in our bed? On our couch? Is that whose apartment you’re moving into?” She was so angry that she was crying, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “You have no right to be pissed off because I have a friend over here, and what we do while you’re gone is none of your business. You and I, we’re separated, Fredrik. The divorce papers are almost finalized. I don’t owe you anything.”
The two of them stood in stony silence for awhile, Anette drying her tears with the back of her hand.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Fredrik said softly, reaching out for her, but his words fell dead as Anette moved away from him and he let his hand drop limply to his side. “Can’t we just rethink this whole thing?”
“Sorry isn’t always good enough, Fredrik. You broke my heart once, and I’m not going to let you do that again.” Inside, the finality of Anette’s words stung her too, but she didn’t show her weakness to her ex-husband.
“Fine.” Fredrik left, stomping out the door with two boxes in hand, and Anette felt like she was completely deflated. She sat down at the table, buried her face in her hands and cried.

Chapter 25

{ July 12, 2008 @ 3:32 am } · { Fellowship }
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25

 

Ewo had called a meeting of sorts in the lobby, and Marco, Emppu and Jukka had just gathered when Anette and Tuomas came into the hotel, distress writ plain on Anette’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Emppu called, and the two of them came closer to the group.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Anette replied, a mask sliding over her face. Emppu didn’t believe her for a second, but he bit his tongue for now as Ewo tried to get their attention.

“Alright, guys, we’re going home for a couple of weeks. I think we all need some relaxing,” Ewo was saying. It was almost as though the entire band breathed a big sigh of relief as the tension eased. Home! A chance to get away!

“You can leave whenever you’re ready. Anette, here’s your plane ticket. Your flight leaves in 4 hours, be at the airport 45 minutes early. You know the drill.” Ewo handed the ticket to her. “In two weeks, we’ve got a show in Gothenburg. I’ll e-mail you the details.” They all nodded their understanding and headed up to their rooms to pack, though Tuomas pulled Anette aside for a moment before the two of them headed upstairs. Emppu observed, wondering what they were talking about that had Tuomas looking so worried, but at the same time impatient and frustrated, and what had Anette looking so distressed again. Deciding it was a mystery that he could solve later, he went up to the room to pack up and get ready to leave.

 

Three of the four guys were already mostly packed, telling jokes and making fun of each other, when Tuomas finally opened the door twenty minutes later.  The light mood in the room seemed to sour as the guys noticed Tuomas’ foul mood.

“Hey man, lighten up. You get to go back to Kitee for a couple weeks,” Emppu tried to cheer him up.

“Yeah.” Tuomas was unaffected, and started folding his clothes that were scattered about the room and putting them in his suitcase, moody and quiet. Emppu and Jukka exchanged a glance, wondering what was up with him. Normally Tuomas was super excited to get back to his little hometown for some relaxation.

“What’s wrong?” Jukka asked, his voice cautious.

“Nothing.”

Emppu sighed; Tuomas could certainly be stubborn when he wanted to. Marco, Jukka and Emppu all knew that when Tuomas got into this mood, there was no way to get him to talk about it. He would write a song and feel better, since that was what he always did. The three of them decided to leave their maestro alone and went to load their suitcases into their cars.

 

Anette wandered down to the long-term parking lot right as Emppu slammed his trunk shut.

“Hey, Anette!” Emppu said when he saw her.

“Hey.” She was smiling, but seemed a little bit sad.

“Something bothering you?”

“No, not really. It’s nothing.” She smiled a larger smile, a fake smile.

“You know you can talk to me. I’ve always been there for you…I always will be.”

“I know, Emppu. It’s just…”

Emppu waited.

“Would you hang out with me ‘til I have to go to the airport?”

He knew that wasn’t what she was going to say, and also assumed that whatever was bothering her was what was bothering Tuomas. He didn’t utter his thoughts, instead saying, “Sure, it’s only half an hour to Kerava anyway. Maybe we can get Marco to stay a while too.”

“That would be cool.” She smiled again, and this time it seemed to be genuine. Jukka sauntered over to them.

“Well, guys, I’m taking off. I’ve got a long ways to go,” he said with a bit of a smile.

“You aren’t going to say good-bye to Tuomas first?” Emppu asked.

“Well not if he keeps up with that dourness of his.” Jukka laughed and shook his head. “I’ll wait for him for a bit, but we’re going to see each other again in a couple weeks anyway.”

“Yeah, but you know how Tuomas is. So sensitive.”

“Oh come on, he’s not that sensitive,” Anette defended him.

“Well, no. But saying good-bye is the polite thing to do.”

Before Anette could reply, Marco stepped over to the little group.

“Hey guys. Looking forward to being home?”

Emppu and Jukka readily agreed, but Anette stayed quiet, which Emppu noted but didn’t mention.

“So Marco, you wanna chill in Helsinki for a bit longer, ‘til Anette has to go to the airport?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure. It’s just a half hour anyway.”

“That’s exactly what I said!”

“It’s really so much handier than say… Joensuu. Isn’t it?” Marco made a dig at Jukka.

“Hey, come on. Just ‘cause it’s a five hour long drive to Joensuu doesn’t mean Kerava’s better!” Jukka acted offended. The banter could have gone on longer had Tuomas not sidled up to them right then. He didn’t seem to be as glum as before.

“So, you ready for that long drive out to Kitee, Tuomas?” Jukka asked.

“Yep, I’ve got my Red Bull,” Tuomas waved the can in front of him, “You ready for that even longer drive to Joensuu, Jukka?”

“Definitely. I’ve got my driving tunes, all set. Some Metallica, Pantera, Rammstein, you know.”

Tuomas smiled but didn’t say anything.

“Well, I guess I’ll be off. Long ways to go, you know,” Jukka said. “I’ll see you guys in a couple weeks in little Arska’s country.” He grinned at her and she stuck her tongue out at him before giving him a hug.

“See you soon, have fun at home,” she said, stepping away.

“You too.”

“I’ll head out too,” Tuomas added. “Have a good vacation, you guys.” They said their farewells and as Tuomas and Jukka left, Emppu, Marco and Anette headed out to kill time for the next couple of hours.

 

Anette caught a cab to the airport and Emppu and Marco drove back to Kerava. The first thing Emppu did when he got home was have a nice, long shower, followed by a long nap. It was always so nice to be back and to be able to do things at your own pace again. It was like recharging a battery, and after the two weeks’ vacation, he knew that everyone would be itching to get back on stage again. Following his nap, he checked his e-mail, sending one off to Tuomas and Jukka asking them if they drove safe and there were no accidents, and another to Anette to see if she’d made it home alright too. There was a quick reply from Anette.

 

I’m fine now. Tuomas is going to be staying here for a few days.

 

Emppu typed up his reply:

 

Why? What happened?

 

Anette’s response was a while coming, or maybe it just seemed that way because Emppu was impatient.

 

Nothing, it’s fine. It’s okay now.

 

Emppu took a while to respond, typing and erasing messages asking why she chose Tuomas to go help her, what had happened to begin with, why she wouldn’t talk to him about anything anymore, but he chose to avoid all those topics. When Anette was ready, she would talk to him about it.

 

Okay. Well, if you ever need me, I’m here for you.

 

The responding e-mail was fast in coming.

 

I know. I’ll call you if I need anything. I have to go now, though. Seth wants supper. Talk to you soon.

 

Emppu sighed and closed the browser, turning off his computer’s monitor and turning to the TV. There were so many problems that needed fixing right now, and he didn’t know where to begin.

Chapter 24

{ July 11, 2008 @ 10:48 pm } · { Fellowship }
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24

 

Anette looked really, really worried now.

“Relax, it’ll be okay,” Tuomas reassured her. “I told them I’d bring you there later today, but if you’re not ready, we can call them and tell them not today.”

Anette didn’t say anything for awhile, and then she took a deep breath, as though preparing herself. “No, today…today will be fine,” she said, meeting Tuomas’ eyes, and he could see the determination in her face. She was steeling herself.

“Come on, I’ll take you there now and we can get this over with.” Tuomas stood, and after a momentary hesitation, Anette did too. She grabbed her cookie and Sprite and headed out of the Subway, Tuomas just behind her.

 

They arrived at the police station by cab, and after they’d been dropped off, stood outside for a moment, not saying anything. After a while, Tuomas spoke.

“You ready?”

Anette took another deep breath, straightened her shoulders and nodded her head stiffly.

“It’ll be okay,” Tuomas said, placing an arm across her shoulders and pushing open the door. “After you.”

Anette ducked out from under his arm and headed through the door, and Tuomas followed her to the front counter. The police officer behind the desk, a young man with short blond hair, an unfriendly face and cold green eyes, seemed to recognize them and stood up. He smiled and immediately seemed more friendly, his eyes lighting up.

“Hello. I’m Timo.” He stepped out from behind the desk with a few papers in one hand, and shook their hands with his other. Then he glanced at one of the papers he held and the smile died from his face. Looking up at Anette, an unreadable emotion on his face, he said, “Right this way.”

“Wait,” Anette stopped him. “Can Tuomas go with me?” Timo shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but I haven’t cleared that with the public defender.”

Anette looked at Tuomas, fear and desperation in her eyes. Tuomas enfolded her in a hug.

“You’ll be fine. You can do this,” he said as he pulled away, trying to smile encouragingly, but not sure he succeeded. Anette looked as though she were going to say something, but Timo spoke before she did.

“Please, follow me right this way.”

She turned and followed him down a hall, and Tuomas sat down in a nearby chair, hoping that everything would go well and that Anette would be fine.

 

Tuomas didn’t know how much time had passed when Anette came walking down the hall, accompanied by two officers, Timo being one of them. She walked straight to Tuomas and as she approached, he could see that she had cried and was badly shaken up. He hugged her right away and she clutched him back, crying softly into his shirt. Timo approached them and said, to Tuomas because Anette’s back was to him, “We need to talk to you.” Anette detached herself from Tuomas and wiped her tears with the back of her hand, facing the officer. “He can come with you, if you want,” Timo added. Anette looked up at Tuomas, pleading, and Tuomas nodded his head. He would be there for Anette no matter what. The two of them followed the officer down another short hall, shoes squeaking on the polished grey tiles beneath their feet. Timo stopped outside a door, knocked on it and opened it in one motion. He said something to the person inside and then gestured for Anette and Tuomas to go in, which they did. Timo didn’t come in the room with them. Inside the office, a large man with grey hair cropped short and glasses sat behind a desk, an open file in his hands, his eyes flicking over it. Tuomas and Anette took their seats in the only two chairs in the room, glancing apprehensively at each other when the man behind the desk didn’t say anything for a long while.

“I’m detective Ari Jansson. I was working on your case,” the man said, putting down the file and looking at Anette. “The man you identified today in the line-up was taken into custody three days ago, when you were admitted to the Aurora hospital, correct?”

“That’s right,” Anette affirmed.

“The person who reported him said that this man had attacked you.” The detective picked up the file again and flicked it open. “It says here that a month ago, you were sexually assaulted. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

Tuomas was surprised by the calm in Anette’s voice, and when he glanced at her, he saw no sign of distress, or any emotion at all. It was as though she was completely detached.

The detective made a note in the file. “We don’t know the man who raped you.” The detective’s eyes were on Anette, searching her for any secrets. “The hospital sent us the DNA they had collected from your first medical examination and we compared it to the man said to have attacked you, but it didn’t match. We had no results in the database either.” He paused as though waiting for Anette to say something, but she didn’t. Her eyes were locked on the floor. “What happened three nights ago?”

Tuomas didn’t understand how this detective was planning what questions he asked. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear Anette tell what happened either. He was watching Anette, gauging what she was feeling. Her hands were clenched into fists and her eyes were closed. She was readying herself, Tuomas could tell. Her hands relaxed as she opened her eyes and looked at the detective, calm, dignified.

“Three nights ago, I was attacked by three men, but I only saw two of them. They came at us from behind, they knocked Mikael out, and moved in on me.”

Tuomas didn’t want to hear, but he had trouble tearing his eyes away from Anette, perhaps frozen with shock. She wasn’t as calm now, her hands in fists again, and shaking in her lap. She looked to be on the verge of crying. The detective was busily writing notes down in the file.

“One of them grabbed me from behind and I – ” Her voice grew choked and Tuomas could see her tears forming as she averted her gaze. “They hit me, and they…they laughed when –”

“What did the other man look like?” The detective interrupted. Tuomas bristled at this man’s complete lack of compassion.

“Uh he had, he had,” Anette was trying to regain her composure, “He had long brown hair, and he was…tall, I guess. Blue eyes.”

“Any distinctive features?” He seemed impatient.

“Not really.” She paused, thinking. “Wait. Wait, he had a tattoo on the side of his neck.”

“What was it of?”

“I…I couldn’t really see it. I didn’t get as good of a look at him as the other man.”

The detective seemed pleased enough and closed the file, setting it on his desk with the pen on top.

“What did the man who raped you look like?” he asked. Anette looked shocked, and then seemed to freeze up. No one said anything. Finally Anette stood and started to head out of the room.

“I’m…I’m sorry, detective. I can’t, I just can’t do this.” She didn’t look back as she left, Tuomas following her out the door, trying to catch up with her as she rushed out of the building.

Chapter 23

{ June 29, 2008 @ 7:00 pm } · { Fellowship }
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23

 

The ticking of the clock was far too loud and the rest of the room far too quiet. The only sign that there was someone else there was the warmth on her hand, Emppu’s hand, resting there – not the hand of a stranger, running up her arm – though she hadn’t looked at him yet, since he’d arrived. She stared at the ceiling, the bed partially raised so that she was in an almost-seated position, trying hard not to remember, trying hard not to be weak, even as tears silently rolled down her face and Emppu’s hand on hers tightened its grip. Anette squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, holding it for a moment and willing herself to be strong, releasing it when the tightness in her chest subsided. Then she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Emppu, forcing herself to smile.

“Hi,” she said. Emppu didn’t say anything, just smiled a closed-mouth smile, and looked down, the smile fading almost immediately from his features. He was standing by where her hand was rested. As Anette slowly surveyed the room, she saw that Emppu wasn’t the only one there, but Tuomas as well, seated in a chair by Emppu, near the bed, his concerned gaze flicking between the guitarist and her. Further back in the room stood Marco and Jukka, leaning on the wall, though Marco stepped to the foot of her bed right as she caught sight of him.

“Anette, are you okay?” Marco asked, hands gripping the footboard.

“What the hell kind of question is that? Of course she’s not okay.” It was Emppu speaking, not raising his head, but turning it slightly in Marco’s direction.

“Well I –” Marco seemed taken aback, releasing the footboard.

Anette wanted to tell Marco that she was okay, but it would be a lie, and she didn’t want to lie, not about this, not about anything to her friends. Thankfully she didn’t have to say anything, because Tuomas stood up, placing a hand on Emppu’s shoulder, whispering something in his ear. Emppu nodded and left the room, not looking back at Anette, who was observing the proceedings silently. Tuomas looked at Marco and Jukka, who followed Emppu out into the hall, the door shutting with a barely audible click behind them.

 

“What did the psychologist say?”

Anette shrugged in reply, not wanting to talk to him, not knowing what to say. After a moment of silence, Tuomas pulled the chair in next to the head of her bed and sat down, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and leaning his head on hers. She leaned back into him, suppressing the memories – hand running up her arm, cupping her face, pain, the taste of blood – and trying to absorb the comfort he was offering. She didn’t know she had started crying until she heard Tuomas’ voice floating in to her, though at first it didn’t sound like his voice, but more like the voice that had rasped in her ear the words she was sure she’d never forget. And his face was not his, with the distinctive cheekbones, blue wolf eyes, goatee, kindness and compassion writ plain for all to see, but instead it was a youthful face, with a scar near his eye, clean shaven, brown eyes filled with a venomous lust, lust to inflict pain for his own pleasure. And Anette flinched away from this face that filled her vision through her tears, until she blinked and saw that it was Tuomas, concerned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You just…for a second…” She shook her head and looked away, at the clock ticking away on the wall. 8:30 at night. Tuomas didn’t leave her alone though, and persisted.

“For a second, what? Anette, you have to talk to me, you have to talk to someone…” His voice was almost pleading and she felt guilt flare in her gut, so strongly she thought she might be sick. She did want to tell him, she did, but she couldn’t open her mouth to speak, the words caught in her throat. He was no longer seated, standing beside her without speaking, but she didn’t look at him, even when she felt her hand being held by his two, being lifted up. She didn’t look at him until she felt the soft press of his lips on her fingers, and she saw tears shining in his eyes when he met her gaze.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he said softly, his voice shaking as he lowered her hand again. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, but before she could tell him that nothing was his fault, he had turned and left the room.

 

A nurse came in shortly after carrying a little plastic cup with a couple pills in it and a glass of water. She smiled warmly, and Anette returned the smile with a tired one of her own.

“You’ll be out of here tomorrow,” the nurse said, handing the water and pills to Anette, “But you’ll still have to take the same dosage. Dr. Berglund will see you in the morning and give you your medication then.” Anette nodded in understanding, putting the glass of water down on the tray attached to the bed and pouring the pills into her hand. Setting the empty plastic cup down on the tray and grabbing the water, she braced herself and quickly shoved the pills in her mouth, washing them down with a gulp of water. She handed the glass back to the nurse, who smiled again as she brushed out of the room. Poking his head in directly following the nurse’s departure, Jukka grinned shyly.

“Mind if I come in?”

Anette was genuinely glad to see him, someone who wouldn’t feel the need to make her talk, to solve the mystery or whatever motivated the others.

“Of course not,” Anette grinned back.

Jukka made his way into the room and dragged the chair back against the wall where he could sit and talk more comfortably, for both himself and for her. He took a seat with a big sigh, as though he’d just been standing for hours.

“So how have you been holding up in this…tiny, tiny room?” he asked, looking around the room as though seeing it for the first time, the low ceiling, stark white walls, the TV mounted on the ceiling in the far corner of the room.

“No complaints; it’s only a couple days anyway,” she replied, enjoying the almost normalcy of this conversation.

“Still, you’d think they could get a bigger room for the front-woman of Nightwish!” He seemed genuinely offended and Anette couldn’t help a small giggle.

“Well, it was kind of short notice.” She’d intended to keep the conversation lighthearted, but for some reason, that sentence was sobering, and both of them fell quiet, Anette struggling against the images that had sprung unbidden to her mind – a hand over her mouth, her arms held behind her back – and trying to maintain composure.

“I guess I should…go…” Jukka seemed worried and insecure, was already standing and headed toward the door.

“Jukka?” He paused and turned back to look at her, and she smiled gratefully. “Thank you.” She hoped he knew what she meant. He nodded and smiled, then turned the corner and was gone.

 

That night, Anette didn’t dream, likely a result of the medication, and in the morning, Dr. Berglund, the psychologist she’d talked to the day before, gave her a prescription for anti-depressants.

“They might cause some drowsiness, but make sure to take them with your morning and evening meals. Two in the morning, two in the evening. Always have them with food. After a few months, you’ll probably be able to half the dosage, but make sure to check in with another psychologist before you do that.”

Taking the slip of paper from the doctor’s hand, Anette nodded and sat up in the bed.

“Your clothes are just on the chair,” Dr. Berglund said with a wave of her hand, where they were sitting, folded nicely.

“Thank you, doctor,” said Anette, shifting to get out of the bed. The doctor smiled and nodded her head, turning and leaving the room as Nightwish’s leading lady stepped over to the chair and the clothes that were there. She grabbed the dress and held it at arm’s length in front of her, her long, white-flowered dress -  the taste of tears, desperation, fear – and knew that she couldn’t wear, she just couldn’t…A soft knock came at the door, and tossing the dress back onto the chair, Anette called for the person to come in. Emppu poked his head through the doorway.

“You’re decent?” he asked with a smile.

“As decent as I can be in a hospital gown,” she said, looking down at her lovely fashion statement. Emppu grinned at her and finally entered the room, carrying folded clothes in his arms.

“I thought you might not want to wear that,” he nodded his head in the direction of the dress on the chair, “so I grabbed some stuff from your suitcase. I hope you don’t mind that I went in it, it’s just…”

Anette was quite sure she’d never felt so grateful to Emppu, and she gave him a hug, cutting off his sentence.

“Thank you so much, Emppu…for everything.”

He smiled shyly and held out the clothes to her, which she took into her own arms. Emppu grabbed the dress and stockings Anette had worn the night, two nights ago, from the chair and left so that Anette could change.

 

Emppu and Anette caught a taxi to the hotel after picking up her medication at the hospital’s pharmacy. Once there, Emppu told her that Tuomas wanted to see her, but he didn’t know what for. So Anette called Tuomas’ cell to find out where he was, and he told her that he was just getting some lunch at the Subway across the street.

“Care to join me? We can talk just as easily here.”

“Sure.” She suddenly realized that she was ravenous. She ended the conversation with Tuomas and told Emppu where she was going before she headed across the street. There was a bit of a morning rush, but it was dying down, and she still found herself scanning the faces of the people she passed, making sure that they weren’t the people she never wanted to see again in her life. She didn’t encounter them, though, and as she stepped into Subway, she spotted Tuomas immediately, seated by a window, out of which he was watching wistfully. She didn’t go over to him right away, instead placing her order – a 6” BMT sub and a chocolate chip cookie, along with a Sprite – and then quietly slipping in the seat across from him, unwrapping her sub and waiting for him to notice her. He finally did, a bit of shock at first in his eyes before his face melted into a smile.

“How are you?” he asked as Anette bit into her sub. Chewing and swallowing before answering – she had been raised with manners, after all – she smiled a bit back at him.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hmmm.” Tuomas seemed thoughtful, as though he was carefully choosing how to say whatever was on his mind. “Well, the police called.”

Anette swallowed the next bite she’d taken and placed the sub down on the wrapper it had come in, worried, but she didn’t say anything.

“They want to see you. They said something about a line-up.”

Chapter 22

{ June 11, 2008 @ 3:00 pm } · { Fellowship }
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22

Jukka had had a bad feeling all throughout the show, but he couldn’t just up and leave. He had tried to shake it off, but it persisted. And as he burst through the exit door, he knew what had happened. He didn’t approach Tuomas and Anette, nor did he follow Marco to Anette’s fallen bodyguard. He didn’t need to verify what he knew had happened. He turned and went straight back into the venue, jogging down the hallways and dodging people, looking for a tall man and his telltale blonde, almost white, hair.

“Ewo!” he called when he spotted the manager, closing the distance between them and putting a hand on Ewo’s shoulder. “Ewo, I have to use your cell phone.” Jukka didn’t have his on him because he’d taken it out of his pocket before the show. Ewo looked confused but dug into his own pocket quickly, pulling out the black flip-phone. Jukka flipped it open and started punching in the number to the hospital, and without looking up, said, “Anette’s been hurt. Get some security out there. Tuomas is with her.” He pushed the dial button and raised the phone to his ear as Ewo quickly gathered the security guards and headed out to the back of the Ice-Hall.

“Aurora hospital Emergency Room, Tanja speaking. How may I assist you?”

Jukka had no time for politeness, and he started heading out toward the back of the venue.

“This is Jukka Nevalainen. An ambulance is needed at the Ice-Hall.”

“You are aware that that will cost –”

“I can afford any price. Just get an ambulance here as soon as possible.”

He was at the exit now, hand on the cool metal door handle.

“An ambulance will be there in about ten minutes.”

“Alright.”

Jukka flipped the phone closed and opened the door, handing it back to Ewo as he passed through the security guards surrounding Tuomas and Anette. With a glance at Anette, a feeling of dread and sympathy blooming at the sight of her, Jukka leaned down a bit and said softly to Tuomas, “An ambulance is on the way.” He couldn’t tell if the lyricist had heard him, because he hadn’t acknowledged it, but Jukka stepped away anyway, needing something to do. He couldn’t just stand around and wait; it made him feel completely useless. He spotted Marco coming off the bus, and the big Finn quizzed him as to what had happened and where Emppu had gone, neither of which Jukka knew for sure, though he could guess at what had happened. He shook his head and apologized to Marco, and the two stood around, Jukka restlessly shuffling his feet, until the ambulance came. There was still no sign of Emppu, so the two went to look for him. The drummer was relieved to finally be doing something.


Emppu was just around the corner, and Jukka felt a small surge of happiness that Emppu had chased down the man who had hurt Anette. At least some justice had been served. The group of them walked to the hospital and upon arrival, he flopped down in a chair in the waiting section as Emppu went to the counter to figure out where Anette was. Marco took a seat in the chair beside him.

“Some night, huh?” the bassist said. Jukka nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose, but didn’t say anything. The two sat without speaking until Emppu joined them.

“She’s going through a medical examination right now, but a doctor will come and get us when it’s done.”

Marco nodded.

“Where’s Tuomas?” he asked.

“Probably with her. That’s my guess, anyway.” Emppu sat down on another chair and closed his eyes. He looked so tired, much more so than Jukka felt. Tension was taut between the members as each went into their own world, barely noticing when the doctor approached them with a clipboard in her hand.

“You can go see her now,” she said, looking at each band member in turn. “She’s in room fifteen. Don’t expect much in the way of conversation, since she’s pretty exhausted. She’ll be fine though.” The doctor smiled a weary smile at them and walked away as the three men slowly stood from their chairs and headed down the hall at their own pace, Emppu in the lead. Jukka got there right as Emppu was opening the door to the room and took a step awkwardly inside. The only light in the room was a lamp beside her bed, casting a warm yellow glow. Tuomas sat in the only chair in the room, looking drained physically and emotionally, and Anette had looked up as they entered, tired and sad. Jukka didn’t want to be in this room, knew he shouldn’t be right now, and was already headed out when Tuomas suggested they leave. He walked down the hall without looking back, back to the waiting room, where he sat down in the same chair and looked at the floor, lost in his thoughts until he glanced at the table in front of him, littered with magazines. Right there, half hidden by a sports magazine, was the tabloid that had published the story. Anger bubbled up inside him as he reached for it and yanked it off the table. He read the headline again, “Lead singer of Nightwish brutally raped in Helsinki,” and briefly contemplated reading the article, but he knew he couldn’t. Curling his lip with disgust, he rolled the magazine up and stormed down the hall until he found a trash can and violently threw it in. He took a deep breath to calm himself and then headed over to Anette’s room. Tuomas was still sitting on the floor, but Marco and Emppu were nowhere to be found.

“Where are the others?” Jukka asked as he approached.

“Marco’s with Anette and Emppu said he was going to get a drink.”

“Oh.”

Jukka shifted his weight, feeling strange, standing here with nothing to do. Thankfully Marco opened the door right then. He looked at Jukka for a moment, and then put a hand on Tuomas’ shoulder.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s go get a drink.” There was no enthusiasm in his voice, and Tuomas tiredly stood, the two walking away with only a brief glance back.

Jukka slowly entered Anette’s room, shutting the door behind him. He forced himself to smile when Anette met his eyes, and took a seat in the chair. He felt awkward here. He was never as close to her as Tuomas and Emppu were, and they’d never had a very serious conversation. He wasn’t sure what to say. So he looked at his hands and said nothing. It was Anette who spoke first.

“Thank you.”

Jukka looked up and smiled when he saw her small, tired, and sad smile.

“It was nothing.”

Her smile grew fractionally and she turned her head to look up at the ceiling. Jukka kept his eyes on her, hoping she’d say something again. She didn’t. The two of that sat in a silence that wasn’t awkward anymore, comfortable just to be in each other’s company.


Your attention please: It’s opinion time. Do you think I should write a chapter from Anette’s POV explaining what happened, or should I just have that come in stages to the other members as they piece the story together? Your opinions will shape the next chapter, and likely the entire plot, so please let me know.

Chapter 21

{ June 4, 2008 @ 4:26 pm } · { Fellowship }
{ Tags: } · { Comments (1) }

Tuomas stood in the doorway a moment, trying to discern what exactly was happening. There was Emppu and his bodyguard facing a man who was leaned over Anette, saying something to her, and then Emppu’s bodyguard moved forward right as the realization of what was happening hit Tuomas. He ran forward, focused solely on Anette, who fell forward, hitting the ground hard, and knelt down beside her. He barely paid attention to what was going on just a few feet from him, though he heard running, footsteps growing fainter as they moved further away, as he gently placed Anette’s head in his lap, serving as her pillow, and leaned over her, running his hand through her hair, over her face, reminding her that there were people there who cared for her.

“I’m so sorry, Anette. Everything’s going to be okay now. It’s going to be fine,” he whispered, struggling to keep his voice steady. She kept crying and crying, and it was breaking his heart to see her like this, but nothing he did calmed her. He didn’t hear Marco approach, didn’t know he was there until he spoke.

“Tuomas, what happened?”

“I…I don’t know.” Tuomas couldn’t keep it in anymore, and his voice cracked as the things he felt warred inside him, but he didn’t raise his face, he just kept watching Anette, tears gathering in his eyes.

“Where are Emppu and Jukka?” Marco asked. Tuomas looked up now, confused. Emppu and Jukka? They were there? Tuomas remembered seeing Emppu, but where had Jukka come from?

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, I’ll check the bus,” said Marco. Tuomas nodded, but hadn’t really registered what Marco said, didn’t really care. He looked back at Anette, noting the blood on her lips. She was still crying, and Tuomas leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, silently wishing for her to get better, to be the same person she used to be, even if he knew that was impossible now. She reached up her hand, and Tuomas grabbed it in his own, seeing that some of her nails were broken. For some reason, something this small set something off in Tuomas, striking a fire of anger in his heart, to the point where he couldn’t breathe. He was angry at the man who kept hurting Anette, but he was even angrier at himself for not being brave enough to talk to her after the first time she was attacked, for insisting they continue the show tonight. He gave her hand a squeeze and she squeezed his in return. She seemed to be pushing herself up, so Tuomas helped her into a sitting position, and she just looked at him for a moment, her eyes shining with tears, her bloody lip trembling.

“Tuomas…” she said, a whisper, and he could hear the pain in her voice, the fear, and he enfolded her in a hug. She clung to him and cried, he clung to her and fought not to. He heard more footsteps on the pavement, and Jukka’s voice telling him an ambulance was on the way. Nothing meant anything to him right now except for the woman who was crying into his shoulder, whose hurt he wished he could take for himself if it would make her better. Nothing clicked until he was sitting in the ambulance, holding Anette’s hand, her eyes never leaving his face, his eyes trying to look anywhere but at the bruises already forming around her wrists, her split lip, the red mark on her cheek.

 

The ambulance ride was a fast one, and her celebrity had her admitted to the hospital immediately, no wait for a doctor. Anette had insisted that she could walk, so Tuomas followed her down a hallway, to the room where the receptionist had directed them, and sat with her until the doctor arrived. The doctor was a kind woman, who softly explained to Anette that she would have a medical examination, followed by a psychological assessment, though she could wait for that until she’d had some rest. At that point, Tuomas was sent into the hallway, where he paced back and forth, worry tugging at the corners of his senses. After an eternity, the doctor stepped out of the room and gave Tuomas a very small smile.

“You can go see her, but she’s exhausted in every possible way, so go easy on her.”

He nodded his head in understanding and the doctor walked away down the hall. Tuomas quietly stepped into the room, delicately closing the door behind him and walking over to take a seat at the side of Anette’s bed. She’d changed into a hospital gown and had her eyes closed. He gently picked up her hand and enfolded it in both of his. At his touch, her eyes flickered open.

“Tuomas,” she said, but there was no smile on her face, just pain, and a feeling Tuomas was very familiar with: self-loathing. He tried to smile at her, but he couldn’t, so he looked down at his hands holding hers.

“You’ll be okay,” he said, not looking up. Anette didn’t reply, but he could feel her watching him. His eyes flicked to the bruises around her wrist, and something in him went hollow. He looked up into her eyes and repeated, “You’ll be okay.”

She didn’t say anything, but shifted her gaze away from him, and as silence cloaked the room, Tuomas looked back at his hands.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice shaking. Tuomas looked at her, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. What did she have to be sorry for?

“For what?” he asked.

“I let you down…tonight. I couldn’t…he was there and…” She closed her eyes, and Tuomas shook his head, releasing her hand. He wanted to hug her, to convince her that nothing was her fault, that if it was anyone’s fault, it was his. He wanted to make everything alright again, but he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t say anything.

 

There came a soft knock at the door, and Tuomas turned around just in time to see Emppu cautiously enter the room, Marco and Jukka just behind him. Tuomas smiled weakly at them, but none of them returned the smile. Emppu looked strained and weary, Jukka worried, and Marco angry. Tuomas stood and Emppu took the chair, the other two hanging around by the door. Tuomas gestured they should wait outside for their turn, because he felt like he was intruding on Emppu and Anette’s conversation, even though they weren’t yet saying anything. As he left the room, he took one last glance back at Anette and found that she was watching him, the smallest of smiles, albeit a sad one, on her lips, gratitude writ plain on her face. He smiled in return and shut the door with a small click, turning and leaning against the wall, sliding to the floor and resting his head on his knees.

“Are you okay?” Marco asked, coming over to him.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Tuomas answered, his voice muffled because he didn’t raise his face. He heard some rustling as Marco took a seat next to him, but neither said anything for awhile.

“We have to get out of here,” Marco said finally. “Out of Finland.”

“Yeah, I know. It kinda makes it worse, that something like this is happening in Finland, in my home country, you know?” Tuomas raised his head and leaned it against the wall so he was looking at the ceiling.

“It could have happened anywhere, Tuomas.”

“I know. But it happened here.” Tuomas looked at Marco, who was about to say something when the door beside Tuomas opened and Emppu came out into the hall. The two men who had been sitting stood, Marco clapping a hand on Emppu’s shoulder as he passed into the room. The air around Tuomas and Emppu grew awkward, neither knowing what to say, and neither looking each other in the face.

“I’m gonna…go get something to drink,” Emppu said, and headed off down the hallway, leaving Tuomas alone with his thoughts, though that was the last place he wanted to be.

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