Angels Fall First

38

It had been three months. Three months of Anette spending as much time as she possibly could with Seth, three months of trying not to think about the impending trial, of trying to let people back into her life. Three months was a long time, but somehow the time had gone so fast. She’d not seen the guys in the band very much, but sometimes they would get together and spend a few days at Tuomas’ cabin or something, despite the cold weather. She was content and sometimes even managed to forget about it. Her life was slipping back into a routine and it was a beautiful feeling. But, three months had to end, and she knew the day would come when she had to go back to Helsinki to face the man who had raped her, body and soul, and to tell her story to a judge and jury. Normally, it would have taken longer for a case like this to go to court, but Anette was a member of Nightwish, and being a celebrity had things like this moved forward. Her family knew about what had happened to her, everyone knew at this point, and they knew that she would be going to Finland for court. They had wanted to go with her, but she knew it was better if they didn’t hear in excruciating detail what had happened. It would be better for everyone.

Those three months had passed and the day had come. Anette had her bag packed and was on the plane headed to Helsinki. Tuomas said he would pick her up at the airport, but the rest of the guys would have to meet her after the trial because they wouldn’t be allowed in. The whole way over, Anette’s stomach twisted itself into knots. She didn’t know if she’d be able to say it, to say what he’d done to her. She didn’t know how she would react when she saw him again. She didn’t know if Tuomas could handle hearing exactly what had happened. What if the judge didn’t find the man guilty? What if she went through this and he walked away without punishment anyway? Was all of this really worth it? Maybe if she just tried to forget about this and let it drop, maybe everything would be fine. But Emppu had been right when he told her, as they headed to the police station for Anette to report her rapist, that if she didn’t act now, the wound in her soul would fester and only get worse. Besides, it was too late to turn back now.

Tuomas was waiting for her when she disembarked the airplane. He smiled warmly and she tried her best to smile back, but couldn’t seem to. This wasn’t a vacation and she wasn’t here to do anything that deserved a smile. The two of them walked to his car in silence, Anette still struggling to find the courage she would be needing in just a short while. She had to be ready, she had to do this, she couldn’t let him get away. No matter what she told herself, she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that this wouldn’t end well, she couldn’t calm the butterflies in her stomach. If he was found innocent and was allowed to walk, what would he do to her then? Would he want revenge? Would he hurt her more than he already had? The thoughts, worries, kept flitting through her brain, and she couldn’t seem to get rid of them, no matter what she tried to think about. She felt ready to scream or cry, or maybe both, she was so nervous, so scared, to do this.

Standing outside the courtroom, Anette steeled herself, meeting Tuomas’ concerned gaze with a level one of her own, not allowing herself to show him her inner turmoil. She would be fine, she could do it. She took a deep breath and an officer opened the door. She scanned the room quickly, freezing when her eyes locked on those blue, blue eyes of her attacker. She felt bile rising in her throat and tears welling in her eyes. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t. He was there, how could she? He was watching her, he was…he was…she couldn’t. Her breath started coming in short, panicked bursts. She knew that the judge and jury were waiting for her to go to the witness stand, but she was rooted to the spot. It wasn’t until Tuomas grabbed her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze that she was able to tear her eyes away from the rapist’s cold, cruel eyes to Tuomas’ warm and compassionate ones.
“You can do this. You’re strong,” he murmured so that no one else would hear. “It’s going to be okay.” She had to blink back the tears she’d nearly shed, and the honesty in Tuomas’ eyes, his genuine belief in her and her ability to do this, to go up there and tell her story, his compassion and his hope, brought a kind of resolution to her heart, a soft calm, a cold calm. She would tell them the truth, she would prove to them that the man sitting at the defendant’s table was guilty, and she would show him that she was stronger than him. Squeezing her hand one last time, Tuomas took a seat and Anette approached the witness stand, meeting her attacker’s eyes with little fear now. Everything would be alright.

THE END

Just want to say thanks to everyone who found this halfway through and has been following ever since. Reading your guys’ comments has made many of my days brighter and I appreciate it. I hadn’t intended for anyone to find this, which is why I originally had it password-protected, but I guess in the end it was better that people did. I’m not sure if I’ll write another Nightwish fanfic, but if I do, maybe I’ll see you there. And until next time, ciao!