Angels Fall First

33

The psychiatrist approached the guys the next day when they came for their visit. He informed them that he was discharging Anette from the hospital and she was almost ready to go, but he wanted to talk to them first. Emppu didn’t know what to make of that, and they all cautiously took a seat in the waiting room, on the edge of their seats as if they might have to run away on a moment’s notice. The psychiatrist smiled at them warmly, and even though Emppu was sure it was some trick he’d been taught in psychiatrist school to make patients believe he could be trusted (which, considering he was a psychiatrist, he should be), Emppu couldn’t help but calm down at the guy’s smile.

“I want you to know what’s going on,” the doctor started calmly, his gaze seeming to rest on all of them at once. “After having evaluated her state of mind, I do find it unlikely that she’ll attempt suicide, which is why I’m discharging her today, but you really need to pull together for her. She needs all the support she can possibly get in this moment of turmoil in her life, and as her friends you need to help her along, help boost her self-esteem and add some structure to the chaos.” Emppu nodded as the psychiatrist paused to let his words sink in. He was telling them to do exactly what they would have done anyway. They weren’t stupid. They knew that Anette was fragile and they knew they had to help her. Emppu was almost offended that the doctor felt the need to actually tell them something so blatantly obvious. He continued, “She’s going to be withdrawn and might seem a little unfocused and lost in her thoughts at times. It’s normal, don’t let that dissuade you from reaching out for her. That she was able to hide how she felt for so long following…quite honestly, it’s surprising. Not many women can pretend so convincingly after such a traumatic occurrence.” Emppu wished he’d just shut up. He wanted to see Anette, he wanted to give her a hug and tell her everything would be fine and they were there for her and he was so, so sorry that he hadn’t seen what she was really going through. He should have been there for her, but he had given up. How could he have given up? What kind of friend did that make him? He snapped out of his thoughts to pay attention to what the psychiatrist was saying now.

“She’s going to trust you four most of everyone, right now, I believe. You’ve been with her from the start and helped her through the worst of the backlash. She might not show it well, in fact, it’s probable that the trust will be tentative at best and always was, but any trust is good.” He paused again and a heavy silence reigned until he spoke again. “She will be okay. She will recover. She just needs time.” But how much?

The band headed back to the hotel a little while later. Anette looked completely exhausted and Emppu worried about her constantly. She couldn’t be sleeping right, but who was he fooling if he thought she’d had a good night’s sleep ever since that trip to Helsinki? He sighed mournfully, knowing full well there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, and headed to his own room as they all parted ways. It wasn’t much later that Emppu headed back out into the hallway with the intention of buying some alcohol from the bar downstairs and happened across Anette, who was at the vending machine buying some Halls. He walked up to her.

“How are you feeling?”

“Throat hurts.” Her voice was raspy, her throat still raw from the stomach pumping.

“Hope they help, “ said Emppu, indicating the Halls she was holding. She nodded with barely a smile. Emppu shifted his weight uncomfortably, wanting to say something to her but unsure exactly what. She watched him steadily and curiosly, no doubt wondering what was just on the tip of his tongue. When he didn’t say anything, she started to walk past him, back to her room.

“What happened, Anette? Why?” he blurted. She froze and lowered her head, not saying anything. Emppu took a step towards her. “Please, I need to know.” He was concerned about her, he wanted to know she wouldn’t try to again. He needed to know.

“I…I can’t talk about it, Emppu,” said Anette, “I’m sorry.” She walked away without looking back.

A/N: I KNOW. It’s short as FUCK. I’m honestly sorry. WTF is wrong with me that I can’t write as much as I used to? D: