Archive for June, 2008

Chapter 23

{ June 29, 2008 @ 7:00 pm } · { Fellowship }
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23

 

The ticking of the clock was far too loud and the rest of the room far too quiet. The only sign that there was someone else there was the warmth on her hand, Emppu’s hand, resting there – not the hand of a stranger, running up her arm – though she hadn’t looked at him yet, since he’d arrived. She stared at the ceiling, the bed partially raised so that she was in an almost-seated position, trying hard not to remember, trying hard not to be weak, even as tears silently rolled down her face and Emppu’s hand on hers tightened its grip. Anette squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, holding it for a moment and willing herself to be strong, releasing it when the tightness in her chest subsided. Then she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Emppu, forcing herself to smile.

“Hi,” she said. Emppu didn’t say anything, just smiled a closed-mouth smile, and looked down, the smile fading almost immediately from his features. He was standing by where her hand was rested. As Anette slowly surveyed the room, she saw that Emppu wasn’t the only one there, but Tuomas as well, seated in a chair by Emppu, near the bed, his concerned gaze flicking between the guitarist and her. Further back in the room stood Marco and Jukka, leaning on the wall, though Marco stepped to the foot of her bed right as she caught sight of him.

“Anette, are you okay?” Marco asked, hands gripping the footboard.

“What the hell kind of question is that? Of course she’s not okay.” It was Emppu speaking, not raising his head, but turning it slightly in Marco’s direction.

“Well I –” Marco seemed taken aback, releasing the footboard.

Anette wanted to tell Marco that she was okay, but it would be a lie, and she didn’t want to lie, not about this, not about anything to her friends. Thankfully she didn’t have to say anything, because Tuomas stood up, placing a hand on Emppu’s shoulder, whispering something in his ear. Emppu nodded and left the room, not looking back at Anette, who was observing the proceedings silently. Tuomas looked at Marco and Jukka, who followed Emppu out into the hall, the door shutting with a barely audible click behind them.

 

“What did the psychologist say?”

Anette shrugged in reply, not wanting to talk to him, not knowing what to say. After a moment of silence, Tuomas pulled the chair in next to the head of her bed and sat down, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and leaning his head on hers. She leaned back into him, suppressing the memories – hand running up her arm, cupping her face, pain, the taste of blood – and trying to absorb the comfort he was offering. She didn’t know she had started crying until she heard Tuomas’ voice floating in to her, though at first it didn’t sound like his voice, but more like the voice that had rasped in her ear the words she was sure she’d never forget. And his face was not his, with the distinctive cheekbones, blue wolf eyes, goatee, kindness and compassion writ plain for all to see, but instead it was a youthful face, with a scar near his eye, clean shaven, brown eyes filled with a venomous lust, lust to inflict pain for his own pleasure. And Anette flinched away from this face that filled her vision through her tears, until she blinked and saw that it was Tuomas, concerned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You just…for a second…” She shook her head and looked away, at the clock ticking away on the wall. 8:30 at night. Tuomas didn’t leave her alone though, and persisted.

“For a second, what? Anette, you have to talk to me, you have to talk to someone…” His voice was almost pleading and she felt guilt flare in her gut, so strongly she thought she might be sick. She did want to tell him, she did, but she couldn’t open her mouth to speak, the words caught in her throat. He was no longer seated, standing beside her without speaking, but she didn’t look at him, even when she felt her hand being held by his two, being lifted up. She didn’t look at him until she felt the soft press of his lips on her fingers, and she saw tears shining in his eyes when he met her gaze.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he said softly, his voice shaking as he lowered her hand again. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, but before she could tell him that nothing was his fault, he had turned and left the room.

 

A nurse came in shortly after carrying a little plastic cup with a couple pills in it and a glass of water. She smiled warmly, and Anette returned the smile with a tired one of her own.

“You’ll be out of here tomorrow,” the nurse said, handing the water and pills to Anette, “But you’ll still have to take the same dosage. Dr. Berglund will see you in the morning and give you your medication then.” Anette nodded in understanding, putting the glass of water down on the tray attached to the bed and pouring the pills into her hand. Setting the empty plastic cup down on the tray and grabbing the water, she braced herself and quickly shoved the pills in her mouth, washing them down with a gulp of water. She handed the glass back to the nurse, who smiled again as she brushed out of the room. Poking his head in directly following the nurse’s departure, Jukka grinned shyly.

“Mind if I come in?”

Anette was genuinely glad to see him, someone who wouldn’t feel the need to make her talk, to solve the mystery or whatever motivated the others.

“Of course not,” Anette grinned back.

Jukka made his way into the room and dragged the chair back against the wall where he could sit and talk more comfortably, for both himself and for her. He took a seat with a big sigh, as though he’d just been standing for hours.

“So how have you been holding up in this…tiny, tiny room?” he asked, looking around the room as though seeing it for the first time, the low ceiling, stark white walls, the TV mounted on the ceiling in the far corner of the room.

“No complaints; it’s only a couple days anyway,” she replied, enjoying the almost normalcy of this conversation.

“Still, you’d think they could get a bigger room for the front-woman of Nightwish!” He seemed genuinely offended and Anette couldn’t help a small giggle.

“Well, it was kind of short notice.” She’d intended to keep the conversation lighthearted, but for some reason, that sentence was sobering, and both of them fell quiet, Anette struggling against the images that had sprung unbidden to her mind – a hand over her mouth, her arms held behind her back – and trying to maintain composure.

“I guess I should…go…” Jukka seemed worried and insecure, was already standing and headed toward the door.

“Jukka?” He paused and turned back to look at her, and she smiled gratefully. “Thank you.” She hoped he knew what she meant. He nodded and smiled, then turned the corner and was gone.

 

That night, Anette didn’t dream, likely a result of the medication, and in the morning, Dr. Berglund, the psychologist she’d talked to the day before, gave her a prescription for anti-depressants.

“They might cause some drowsiness, but make sure to take them with your morning and evening meals. Two in the morning, two in the evening. Always have them with food. After a few months, you’ll probably be able to half the dosage, but make sure to check in with another psychologist before you do that.”

Taking the slip of paper from the doctor’s hand, Anette nodded and sat up in the bed.

“Your clothes are just on the chair,” Dr. Berglund said with a wave of her hand, where they were sitting, folded nicely.

“Thank you, doctor,” said Anette, shifting to get out of the bed. The doctor smiled and nodded her head, turning and leaving the room as Nightwish’s leading lady stepped over to the chair and the clothes that were there. She grabbed the dress and held it at arm’s length in front of her, her long, white-flowered dress -  the taste of tears, desperation, fear – and knew that she couldn’t wear, she just couldn’t…A soft knock came at the door, and tossing the dress back onto the chair, Anette called for the person to come in. Emppu poked his head through the doorway.

“You’re decent?” he asked with a smile.

“As decent as I can be in a hospital gown,” she said, looking down at her lovely fashion statement. Emppu grinned at her and finally entered the room, carrying folded clothes in his arms.

“I thought you might not want to wear that,” he nodded his head in the direction of the dress on the chair, “so I grabbed some stuff from your suitcase. I hope you don’t mind that I went in it, it’s just…”

Anette was quite sure she’d never felt so grateful to Emppu, and she gave him a hug, cutting off his sentence.

“Thank you so much, Emppu…for everything.”

He smiled shyly and held out the clothes to her, which she took into her own arms. Emppu grabbed the dress and stockings Anette had worn the night, two nights ago, from the chair and left so that Anette could change.

 

Emppu and Anette caught a taxi to the hotel after picking up her medication at the hospital’s pharmacy. Once there, Emppu told her that Tuomas wanted to see her, but he didn’t know what for. So Anette called Tuomas’ cell to find out where he was, and he told her that he was just getting some lunch at the Subway across the street.

“Care to join me? We can talk just as easily here.”

“Sure.” She suddenly realized that she was ravenous. She ended the conversation with Tuomas and told Emppu where she was going before she headed across the street. There was a bit of a morning rush, but it was dying down, and she still found herself scanning the faces of the people she passed, making sure that they weren’t the people she never wanted to see again in her life. She didn’t encounter them, though, and as she stepped into Subway, she spotted Tuomas immediately, seated by a window, out of which he was watching wistfully. She didn’t go over to him right away, instead placing her order – a 6” BMT sub and a chocolate chip cookie, along with a Sprite – and then quietly slipping in the seat across from him, unwrapping her sub and waiting for him to notice her. He finally did, a bit of shock at first in his eyes before his face melted into a smile.

“How are you?” he asked as Anette bit into her sub. Chewing and swallowing before answering – she had been raised with manners, after all – she smiled a bit back at him.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Hmmm.” Tuomas seemed thoughtful, as though he was carefully choosing how to say whatever was on his mind. “Well, the police called.”

Anette swallowed the next bite she’d taken and placed the sub down on the wrapper it had come in, worried, but she didn’t say anything.

“They want to see you. They said something about a line-up.”

Chapter 22

{ June 11, 2008 @ 3:00 pm } · { Fellowship }
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22

Jukka had had a bad feeling all throughout the show, but he couldn’t just up and leave. He had tried to shake it off, but it persisted. And as he burst through the exit door, he knew what had happened. He didn’t approach Tuomas and Anette, nor did he follow Marco to Anette’s fallen bodyguard. He didn’t need to verify what he knew had happened. He turned and went straight back into the venue, jogging down the hallways and dodging people, looking for a tall man and his telltale blonde, almost white, hair.

“Ewo!” he called when he spotted the manager, closing the distance between them and putting a hand on Ewo’s shoulder. “Ewo, I have to use your cell phone.” Jukka didn’t have his on him because he’d taken it out of his pocket before the show. Ewo looked confused but dug into his own pocket quickly, pulling out the black flip-phone. Jukka flipped it open and started punching in the number to the hospital, and without looking up, said, “Anette’s been hurt. Get some security out there. Tuomas is with her.” He pushed the dial button and raised the phone to his ear as Ewo quickly gathered the security guards and headed out to the back of the Ice-Hall.

“Aurora hospital Emergency Room, Tanja speaking. How may I assist you?”

Jukka had no time for politeness, and he started heading out toward the back of the venue.

“This is Jukka Nevalainen. An ambulance is needed at the Ice-Hall.”

“You are aware that that will cost –”

“I can afford any price. Just get an ambulance here as soon as possible.”

He was at the exit now, hand on the cool metal door handle.

“An ambulance will be there in about ten minutes.”

“Alright.”

Jukka flipped the phone closed and opened the door, handing it back to Ewo as he passed through the security guards surrounding Tuomas and Anette. With a glance at Anette, a feeling of dread and sympathy blooming at the sight of her, Jukka leaned down a bit and said softly to Tuomas, “An ambulance is on the way.” He couldn’t tell if the lyricist had heard him, because he hadn’t acknowledged it, but Jukka stepped away anyway, needing something to do. He couldn’t just stand around and wait; it made him feel completely useless. He spotted Marco coming off the bus, and the big Finn quizzed him as to what had happened and where Emppu had gone, neither of which Jukka knew for sure, though he could guess at what had happened. He shook his head and apologized to Marco, and the two stood around, Jukka restlessly shuffling his feet, until the ambulance came. There was still no sign of Emppu, so the two went to look for him. The drummer was relieved to finally be doing something.


Emppu was just around the corner, and Jukka felt a small surge of happiness that Emppu had chased down the man who had hurt Anette. At least some justice had been served. The group of them walked to the hospital and upon arrival, he flopped down in a chair in the waiting section as Emppu went to the counter to figure out where Anette was. Marco took a seat in the chair beside him.

“Some night, huh?” the bassist said. Jukka nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose, but didn’t say anything. The two sat without speaking until Emppu joined them.

“She’s going through a medical examination right now, but a doctor will come and get us when it’s done.”

Marco nodded.

“Where’s Tuomas?” he asked.

“Probably with her. That’s my guess, anyway.” Emppu sat down on another chair and closed his eyes. He looked so tired, much more so than Jukka felt. Tension was taut between the members as each went into their own world, barely noticing when the doctor approached them with a clipboard in her hand.

“You can go see her now,” she said, looking at each band member in turn. “She’s in room fifteen. Don’t expect much in the way of conversation, since she’s pretty exhausted. She’ll be fine though.” The doctor smiled a weary smile at them and walked away as the three men slowly stood from their chairs and headed down the hall at their own pace, Emppu in the lead. Jukka got there right as Emppu was opening the door to the room and took a step awkwardly inside. The only light in the room was a lamp beside her bed, casting a warm yellow glow. Tuomas sat in the only chair in the room, looking drained physically and emotionally, and Anette had looked up as they entered, tired and sad. Jukka didn’t want to be in this room, knew he shouldn’t be right now, and was already headed out when Tuomas suggested they leave. He walked down the hall without looking back, back to the waiting room, where he sat down in the same chair and looked at the floor, lost in his thoughts until he glanced at the table in front of him, littered with magazines. Right there, half hidden by a sports magazine, was the tabloid that had published the story. Anger bubbled up inside him as he reached for it and yanked it off the table. He read the headline again, “Lead singer of Nightwish brutally raped in Helsinki,” and briefly contemplated reading the article, but he knew he couldn’t. Curling his lip with disgust, he rolled the magazine up and stormed down the hall until he found a trash can and violently threw it in. He took a deep breath to calm himself and then headed over to Anette’s room. Tuomas was still sitting on the floor, but Marco and Emppu were nowhere to be found.

“Where are the others?” Jukka asked as he approached.

“Marco’s with Anette and Emppu said he was going to get a drink.”

“Oh.”

Jukka shifted his weight, feeling strange, standing here with nothing to do. Thankfully Marco opened the door right then. He looked at Jukka for a moment, and then put a hand on Tuomas’ shoulder.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s go get a drink.” There was no enthusiasm in his voice, and Tuomas tiredly stood, the two walking away with only a brief glance back.

Jukka slowly entered Anette’s room, shutting the door behind him. He forced himself to smile when Anette met his eyes, and took a seat in the chair. He felt awkward here. He was never as close to her as Tuomas and Emppu were, and they’d never had a very serious conversation. He wasn’t sure what to say. So he looked at his hands and said nothing. It was Anette who spoke first.

“Thank you.”

Jukka looked up and smiled when he saw her small, tired, and sad smile.

“It was nothing.”

Her smile grew fractionally and she turned her head to look up at the ceiling. Jukka kept his eyes on her, hoping she’d say something again. She didn’t. The two of that sat in a silence that wasn’t awkward anymore, comfortable just to be in each other’s company.


Your attention please: It’s opinion time. Do you think I should write a chapter from Anette’s POV explaining what happened, or should I just have that come in stages to the other members as they piece the story together? Your opinions will shape the next chapter, and likely the entire plot, so please let me know.

Chapter 21

{ June 4, 2008 @ 4:26 pm } · { Fellowship }
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Tuomas stood in the doorway a moment, trying to discern what exactly was happening. There was Emppu and his bodyguard facing a man who was leaned over Anette, saying something to her, and then Emppu’s bodyguard moved forward right as the realization of what was happening hit Tuomas. He ran forward, focused solely on Anette, who fell forward, hitting the ground hard, and knelt down beside her. He barely paid attention to what was going on just a few feet from him, though he heard running, footsteps growing fainter as they moved further away, as he gently placed Anette’s head in his lap, serving as her pillow, and leaned over her, running his hand through her hair, over her face, reminding her that there were people there who cared for her.

“I’m so sorry, Anette. Everything’s going to be okay now. It’s going to be fine,” he whispered, struggling to keep his voice steady. She kept crying and crying, and it was breaking his heart to see her like this, but nothing he did calmed her. He didn’t hear Marco approach, didn’t know he was there until he spoke.

“Tuomas, what happened?”

“I…I don’t know.” Tuomas couldn’t keep it in anymore, and his voice cracked as the things he felt warred inside him, but he didn’t raise his face, he just kept watching Anette, tears gathering in his eyes.

“Where are Emppu and Jukka?” Marco asked. Tuomas looked up now, confused. Emppu and Jukka? They were there? Tuomas remembered seeing Emppu, but where had Jukka come from?

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, I’ll check the bus,” said Marco. Tuomas nodded, but hadn’t really registered what Marco said, didn’t really care. He looked back at Anette, noting the blood on her lips. She was still crying, and Tuomas leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, silently wishing for her to get better, to be the same person she used to be, even if he knew that was impossible now. She reached up her hand, and Tuomas grabbed it in his own, seeing that some of her nails were broken. For some reason, something this small set something off in Tuomas, striking a fire of anger in his heart, to the point where he couldn’t breathe. He was angry at the man who kept hurting Anette, but he was even angrier at himself for not being brave enough to talk to her after the first time she was attacked, for insisting they continue the show tonight. He gave her hand a squeeze and she squeezed his in return. She seemed to be pushing herself up, so Tuomas helped her into a sitting position, and she just looked at him for a moment, her eyes shining with tears, her bloody lip trembling.

“Tuomas…” she said, a whisper, and he could hear the pain in her voice, the fear, and he enfolded her in a hug. She clung to him and cried, he clung to her and fought not to. He heard more footsteps on the pavement, and Jukka’s voice telling him an ambulance was on the way. Nothing meant anything to him right now except for the woman who was crying into his shoulder, whose hurt he wished he could take for himself if it would make her better. Nothing clicked until he was sitting in the ambulance, holding Anette’s hand, her eyes never leaving his face, his eyes trying to look anywhere but at the bruises already forming around her wrists, her split lip, the red mark on her cheek.

 

The ambulance ride was a fast one, and her celebrity had her admitted to the hospital immediately, no wait for a doctor. Anette had insisted that she could walk, so Tuomas followed her down a hallway, to the room where the receptionist had directed them, and sat with her until the doctor arrived. The doctor was a kind woman, who softly explained to Anette that she would have a medical examination, followed by a psychological assessment, though she could wait for that until she’d had some rest. At that point, Tuomas was sent into the hallway, where he paced back and forth, worry tugging at the corners of his senses. After an eternity, the doctor stepped out of the room and gave Tuomas a very small smile.

“You can go see her, but she’s exhausted in every possible way, so go easy on her.”

He nodded his head in understanding and the doctor walked away down the hall. Tuomas quietly stepped into the room, delicately closing the door behind him and walking over to take a seat at the side of Anette’s bed. She’d changed into a hospital gown and had her eyes closed. He gently picked up her hand and enfolded it in both of his. At his touch, her eyes flickered open.

“Tuomas,” she said, but there was no smile on her face, just pain, and a feeling Tuomas was very familiar with: self-loathing. He tried to smile at her, but he couldn’t, so he looked down at his hands holding hers.

“You’ll be okay,” he said, not looking up. Anette didn’t reply, but he could feel her watching him. His eyes flicked to the bruises around her wrist, and something in him went hollow. He looked up into her eyes and repeated, “You’ll be okay.”

She didn’t say anything, but shifted her gaze away from him, and as silence cloaked the room, Tuomas looked back at his hands.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice shaking. Tuomas looked at her, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. What did she have to be sorry for?

“For what?” he asked.

“I let you down…tonight. I couldn’t…he was there and…” She closed her eyes, and Tuomas shook his head, releasing her hand. He wanted to hug her, to convince her that nothing was her fault, that if it was anyone’s fault, it was his. He wanted to make everything alright again, but he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t say anything.

 

There came a soft knock at the door, and Tuomas turned around just in time to see Emppu cautiously enter the room, Marco and Jukka just behind him. Tuomas smiled weakly at them, but none of them returned the smile. Emppu looked strained and weary, Jukka worried, and Marco angry. Tuomas stood and Emppu took the chair, the other two hanging around by the door. Tuomas gestured they should wait outside for their turn, because he felt like he was intruding on Emppu and Anette’s conversation, even though they weren’t yet saying anything. As he left the room, he took one last glance back at Anette and found that she was watching him, the smallest of smiles, albeit a sad one, on her lips, gratitude writ plain on her face. He smiled in return and shut the door with a small click, turning and leaning against the wall, sliding to the floor and resting his head on his knees.

“Are you okay?” Marco asked, coming over to him.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Tuomas answered, his voice muffled because he didn’t raise his face. He heard some rustling as Marco took a seat next to him, but neither said anything for awhile.

“We have to get out of here,” Marco said finally. “Out of Finland.”

“Yeah, I know. It kinda makes it worse, that something like this is happening in Finland, in my home country, you know?” Tuomas raised his head and leaned it against the wall so he was looking at the ceiling.

“It could have happened anywhere, Tuomas.”

“I know. But it happened here.” Tuomas looked at Marco, who was about to say something when the door beside Tuomas opened and Emppu came out into the hall. The two men who had been sitting stood, Marco clapping a hand on Emppu’s shoulder as he passed into the room. The air around Tuomas and Emppu grew awkward, neither knowing what to say, and neither looking each other in the face.

“I’m gonna…go get something to drink,” Emppu said, and headed off down the hallway, leaving Tuomas alone with his thoughts, though that was the last place he wanted to be.