Angels Fall First

TITLE: Fellowship

AUTHOR: Quutr

DISCLAIMER: This isn’t based on true events. I would be horrified if it was. Nightwish, and Anette, are too awesome to actually have this happen. It is entirely fake, and my writing this in no way expresses a desire for it to happen. Is that clear? Good. And I don’t own the people. Obviously, they are their own individual selves and all the personality traits I apply to them are imagined, since I know none of them personally.

1

The miles and Finnish scenery zoomed by past the windows. Anette’s aqua-coloured eyes flicked back and forth as they settled on one thing only to have it out of sight in a matter of moments outside. She leaned her head on the window and continued to watch the road and plants fly by. They were on the way to Helsinki, where they’d be staying for a few days before continuing the tour. It was bound to be an awkward time, though, since Tarja was going to be performing there in those few days. Anette had no issues with Tarja, because she really had no reason to. She hoped Tarja brooked no ill feelings towards her as well, but there was no way to be sure. It was quite probable Tarja would dislike her successor.

Marco was playing his DS in one corner as Emppu napped. Jukka and Tuomas were watching TV. The trips on the bus were very boring, Anette had learned quite early on. Tempers grew short and small personality quirks chafed. Arguments occurred over the smallest of things. Thankfully they were resolved quickly and no hard feelings were held between the members. Truth be told, they all got along really, really well. She raised her head and quickly surveyed the bus before resting it back on the window and closing her eyes. The murmur from the TV and small noises coming from Marco’s videogame, as well as the window vibrating with the movement of the bus on her head, lulled her into a half-sleep, a pleasant state where she wasn’t thinking too hard about anything except how content she was right at that moment. All the hatred fans felt towards her, and the obsessing others did, slipped away. The worry about what Tarja might think of her faded. Her self-criticism disappeared, removing a weight she burdened herself with from her shoulders.

Time went by slowly, and during it, Anette fell asleep. She awoke with a start when the bus jolted to a stop, and she had a brief moment of confusion as she tried to figure out where they were. As she realized that they had arrived in Helsinki, all her self-doubt and anxiety came flooding back to her. She was worried about the reactions here, being that this was, after all, the guys’ mainland, and she was, after all, a Swede. She hid her insecurities, though, behind the smile she always wore. After some time of wearing that smile, she would begin to feel cheerful and confident just as she pretended to be at first, but since it was just beginning, it would take her time to slip into that state of mind. And it was that time that she dreaded most of all on tour. If it weren’t for the amazing fans, she’d be a lot more insecure, she was sure of it. It helped to know that people were supporting her.The band bustled into the hotel with some their bags, the rest being carried by bellboys, and took an elevator up to their rooms. The guys all had one room, and Anette was given an adjoining one. Entering her room, she could hear the guys joking around in Finnish on the other side of the wall (they weren’t quiet, that’s for sure), and she idly wished she had someone to joke around with too. Oh well, it was nice to be alone after having spent all that time together on the bus. She threw her bag onto one of the two queen-sized beds in the room, the one closer to the window, and sat down on the edge of the bed nearer to her. How would she face this? This Finnish crowd that probably mostly hated her, and especially when they’d judge her so highly with Tarja in town. She massaged her temples with thumb and middle finger, sighing wearily and resigned to face bad reactions. She knew this would happen, when she got accepted. She expected it. So why did it still hurt so much?

Deciding she would do some sightseeing, Anette started to leave the hotel, quickly explaining to the guys that she would be fine.
“Alright,” Tuomas mumbled after a small debate, dismissing the bodyguard who would otherwise have followed her subtly in order to protect her should she be attacked.  Anette knew she probably should take the added security, given where she was, but she felt the need to just get away for a bit and not have anyone worrying over her all the time.
“Kiitos,” she said. That was a word she had learned easily and quickly. Tuomas nodded his head in acknowledgement and Anette left.

Things were fine, at first. As she walked through the streets, Anette could sense people watching her, doing double-takes as they realized who she was. She heard some murmuring and wondered, with a pang of panic, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that they were saying. She gritted her teeth and kept walking. Two young women approached her and asked shyly if they could have a picture. Smiling, genuinely happy that these girls liked her enough to ask, Anette readily agreed, and struck a pose, with an arm around the shoulders of each girl. They stepped away once the picture had been taken, blushing and flustered, and one of them thanked Anette profusely for the great job she was doing in Nightwish and told her that the guys made the perfect choice. Feeling her heart warming at the statement, Anette went to the girl and hugged her tightly, whispering “thank you” in her ear. The girl seemed taken aback as Anette stepped away and, smiling, strolled off. The singer glanced back over her shoulder and saw the young woman looking at her friend, both surprised and ecstatic and unsure how to react. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, dealing with all this crap, this hate, just to make someone feel like those girls did right there.

She wandered off into some quieter parts of the city, and eventually found herself on the edge of a small wood. She supposed then that the hotel wasn’t too close to the centre of town. A small part of her mind warned her that she probably shouldn’t go in there; she shouldn’t even if she weren’t famous. Disregarding the wise part of her brain, though, Anette entered the woods, inhaling deeply the clean scent of wilderness, basking in the warm afternoon sun that caressed her skin as it filtered between the branches. It fuelled her energy and she kept walking further and further into the trees and away from the city. She had thought this was a small wood, but perhaps it wasn’t so small after all. Suddenly, she felt as though someone was watching her and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. She froze in spot, knowing that this would achieve nothing ultimately, but instinctively doing so anyway. She looked around the area she was in, still standing stock still, and she heard a rustling behind her. She started walking, very slowly, making as little noise as possible, telling herself that it was just an animal. She could barely hear anything, now, over the sound of her heart beating in her ears. A twig broke in the distance and, not thinking twice, she broke out at full run straight ahead, knowing she was moving away from where she should be going, back to the city, but unable to convince herself to turn around. Footsteps were following close behind her now, hitting the ground hard as the woman and her pursuer crashed through the underbrush. She felt herself running out of breath and slowing down, even as she heard the person behind her speeding up. Suddenly, she was tackled to the ground from behind, her attacker’s arms gripped around her stomach as she was launched forward, hitting the forest floor with her face, hearing bone crack and seeing blood.

Her attacker flipped her over and through the pain she saw he had short blonde hair and a 5 o’clock shadow, chiseled features, his bright blue eyes paralyzing her with fear. He had one hand over her mouth as his other was undoing her jeans. She tried to scream, but he only laughed and removed his hand.
“Scream all you want, bitch. No one will hear you,” he said, now pinning both her arms above her head with the hand that had been covering her mouth mere moments before. She tried to struggle out of his grasp, but his grip was of steel. He was undoing his own belt buckle now, then zipper. Anette cried out for help, but she knew he was right and that no one would hear her. She stopped shouting and instead focused on keeping him off her. She went to knee him in the groin or stomach, whichever was closer, but he knew it was coming and quickly pushed her leg down.
“Oh, such a feisty one,” he purred, lust glowing in his eyes. He shifted so that he pinned her legs down with his body weight as he finished undoing his pants completely. He then began working on her clothes, and she constantly struggled against him.
“Get off me!” she cried, renewing her efforts. He seemed irritated now and he grabbed her by the throat with his other hand, removing his fingers from her arms. Anette was choking for air, but his grip never wavered. She wrapped her hands around his forearms, willing herself to pull him off her, to get away. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration hit her and drawing on all the strength she had, she scratched him across his cheek with her left hand, drawing blood, such was the force with which she scratched him. He winced and his grip around her throat loosened. She heaved in a breath of air, taking advantage of his temporary distraction and pulling his hand away from her throat, even as she smashed an elbow into his mouth. He cupped his chin and mouth in his hand and Anette pulled herself out from under his body weight, dragging herself back using only her arms. Bringing his hand from his face so that he leaned on both of them on the ground, he smiled, a vicious smile full of ill intent. Blood dribbled down his chin from where Anette had cracked his lip with her elbow, and the scratch marks across his cheeks were red and enflamed.

She tried to stand, to run away, but her legs wouldn’t work and he crawled the few feet between them quickly, his eyes never leaving hers, and they were freezing her, clouding her mind with fear. He drew himself in, closer, until he was right over her, and she was backed up against a tree. She whimpered, felt tears slide down her face, wished that this was a dream. Drawing her legs up to her chest, a final preventative measure, she hugged her knees tightly and squeezed her eyes shut.
“This would be so much easier if you’d just cooperate,” he said. Anette didn’t know if he’d been talking before, but it was the first thing she heard now. “But then again, where’s the fun in that?”
He began to pry her fingers off her legs one at a time, pulling her arms forward and holding them in one hand as he pushed her legs down so that they were flat against the ground. He pulled off her pants and pulled down the thong she was wearing and she squeezed her knees shut tighter. She felt his hands gripping her thighs and she put her hands on his shoulders, pushing against him with all her might, at the same time as she held her legs closed, her muscles aching with the effort. Nothing seemed to be able to stop him, though, and she could feel his fingertips and thumb digging into her as he pulled her legs apart, digging in so deep that it felt as though they would bruise her to the bones. And then, he smiled again, victorious in his quest, and his smile widened as a leaned over and whispered, breath hot in her ear, “Scream for me.” As he said it, he shoved three fingers inside her, and Anette bit her lip to keep from screaming, to keep from doing exactly what he wanted her to do, and the metallic flavour of blood seeped into her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain, feeling more tears flowing down her face as her limbs went rigid.
 ”That’s right, bitch,” he crooned as he began moving them in and out. Her entire body screamed against the invasion of her privacy, but it was of no use. The initial shock had temporarily incapacitated her and he had taken advantage of this and removed her shirt. Removing his fingers from inside her, he undid her bra before she recommenced her struggles. Blood was streaming down her face from the broken nose and she was aching from the force of his fingers, but she refused to let that stop her. She started to scratch at his face again, but then he hit her right by her left eye. She saw a flash of white as pain and shock temporarily blinded her, but as soon as it faded, she renewed her efforts. He had her bra off now and was stroking her breasts, which sent shivers of unwelcome pleasure across Anette’s body. Then, without warning, he entered her, sending a sharp pain that shot straight through her. She screamed as loud as she could, a scream and a sob, begged him to leave her be, but he didn’t, and he continued, gripping her wrists above her head, until she felt like there was no life left within her.

She became aware that she was crying, but she didn’t know how long she had been. Her attacker had had his fill of her some time ago and had left her crying, naked and alone in the forest. She sat on the grass, clutching her legs to her chest, and sobbed. She didn’t understand how the sun could still be shining, how the birds could still be singing. Didn’t they know what had just happened? Her body felt bruised and her soul was broken. Before he left, he’d said that she could expect more, and worse. It was with this thought in mind that she painfully put her clothes back on, but before she could leave, she started crying again, falling to the forest floor, sobbing. She didn’t know how she’d face the guys, how she could face anyone. It felt too obvious, like it could be seen in her eyes what had happened here. She didn’t want anyone to know, but she’d have to tell them. They’d wonder about the broken nose and black eye, the bruises around her wrists. She would figure something out, she hoped. Swallowing her sobs, she stood and wiped the tears from her eyes and headed back into the city.